So You're Quarantined: a Coronavirus Social Distancing Binge List

Off the top, COVID-19 keeps spreading and is now considered a global pandemic. I'm not taking that lightly, and neither should you. There's lots of data out there about why it's good to practice "social distancing" to help keep the communal passing of the virus to those most at risk. But if we're to practice the Quasimodo social plan to protect others, we need something to keep us entertained, yeah?

Well, here's a few suggestions for you. From new things, to old favorites, and some good laughs at the expense of germs, here's your Coronavirus Social Distancing Binge List, presented in 3 categories.

Note that each title has the trailer for that thing hyperlinked to it. You're welcome. 

Also, accompanying every category will be a coffee brewing method to keep it "on brand" with this site. Anyway, let's dive in!

Category 1: Time to catch-up
Now that we're socially distancing ourselves, it's time to catch up on those movies and TV shows that keep coming up in conversation and you keep telling people "yeah, I'll get around to it." Now's your time to "get around to it."

Coffee association: nitro-cold brew. 
Look, I get it: you like your cold brew and like getting a lot of stuff put in it. I get it. But imagine having coffee that's so smooth, so rich, so full of chocolate-nutty notes that you could swear it's a Guinness. That's what you get here. It's a terrific treat, and best consumed black if you ask me. If you haven't gotten around to it, like, what are you waiting for?

Film/TV suggestions: 

• Honey Boy (Amazon Prime)

I remember when this was announced in the middle of "Crazy Shia" season, and my first thought was "wow, he's full of himself." A biopic about Shia LaBeouf starring Shia LaBeouf was just crazy enough to have me NOT interested. But then you learn that this was written as an exercise while he was in therapy, realize this is a character study into the effects of familial abuse, and the trailer shows that wow, this looks good? If you're a fan of Shia's, this will remind you of the true talent he has. 

After you watch this, I'd encourage you to listen to this podcast from Alicia Malone where she's joined by Natsha Braier (cinematographer on Honey Boy) to discuss the process by which they made the movie. It's truly fascinating. 

• Booksmart (Hulu)

Calling it "Super Bad but for girls" sells this film short, but it's a good opener to discussing it. Directed by Olivia Wilde and starring Beanie Feldstein (Jonah Hill's sister) and Kaitlyn Dever (Last Man Standing, Short Term 12), this movie takes the premise of "we haven't partied and we have one last chance to" and runs with it in new refreshing ways. This isn't just another "non-rebellious teen gets crazy for a weekend" story; it takes this and tells a deeper story of the true bonds of friendship and what it means to succeed today. 

Plus, Kaitlyn Dever is a criminally underrated actress that is SO much more than what you see on Last Man Standing. Watch this and immediately follow it up with Short Term 12, and you'll thank me. 

• Jojo Rabbit (BluRay)

I asked someone if they had seen this yet, and they said "Oh, the weird Hitler movie?" 

Look, that's an aspect, but this may have been the best movie of 2019. It hits you with literally every emotion: laughs, awes, gut punches, anger, and back to smiles. The goofiness is a terrific way to ease you into this world, but it does not pull any punches. This story of acceptance, the folly of following political movements blindly, and learning who you are and embracing it is very timely and likewise timeless.  

And if you're scared to watch this because of the Hitler character, let me help ease your mind. This character is a personification of the propaganda that the young main character has heard his entire life, and the conflict that arises between him and Hitler when he starts doubting the ideologies of the Nazi regime is truly fascinating to see. 

I beg you, pick this up while you're out searching for toilet paper.  

•  The Toys That Made Us (Netflix)

This is a show that my coworker told me to watch no less than 12 1/2 times. Whether you played with the toys they cover or not, it's a fascinating inside look into the entertainment industry. 

How many of your favorite shows were simply vehicles to sell toys? More than you think. 

How did a small company in Cincinnati take over a galaxy far far away? You could figure it out here. 

This is a great documentary series that you can either binge all the way through, or just pick and choose the toys that you liked. Either way, you won't regret the time you invest on this. The creators have crafted this to be goofy and comedic, not just another documentary series. If you want a lovely does of nostalgia, you need to check this out. 

• Neat: the Story of Bourbon (Hulu)

Before moving down to Kentucky in December 2018, I was aware of bourbon. I mean, who isn't? It's neat stuff.
(pause for laughter)  

But since moving down here, it has blown me away how much of a lifestyle it is. Why is it so ingrained into the very fabric of the bluegrass state? This along with many other answers that come from chronicling the long history of this beverage are explored in this documentary. It includes a virtual distillery tour, so if you haven't taken one of those, watch this bad boy then go do one in person.  

You know, after the virus is gone. 

Category 2: New Stuff

Coffee association: birthday cake coffee. 
As I said in the intro blog, on paper, it's not good, right? Birthday cake is to be eaten, not sipped from a mug! But one day I was desperate so I had some. And it was....good?? It's not really cake flavor, it's a fun light roast, hints of vanilla, and it worked well. Should it? Not really, but I'm glad I had it.

Some of these choices may not be things you would normally seek out, but if you do, you'll be glad you did. Like the coffee above!

Film/TV suggestions:

• The Witcher (Netflix)

Toss a coin to this series if you want great sword fights, some magic, and a good alternative to Game of Thrones. Premiere episode took me from skeptical to ALL-IN-BABY, and I'm someone that couldn't really get into Game of Thrones. 

Now, it does have the gore and boobs and language of Game of Thrones, and the mythological talk is similar, but this feels very different in many respects. There are points where it feels like they are aware of how ridiculous some of the monsters are, but in this world it works. It isn't the wink at the camera type of acknowledgment that bugs me with the MCU, but rather stems from Cavill's Geralt reacting to something in the world. It works.
The only complaint I had was the strange two timeline weaving that happens throughout the series. I won't get into spoilers, but once it rears its head, it makes sense. I almost wish this show could be a monster of the week following Geralt and the bard following him singing all day. Despite it not being that, this show is still pretty fun.
Give it a couple of episodes, but hey! You aren't going anywhere, so might as well watch all of them.  

• Superman: Red Son (Digital out now, BluRay March 17, 2020)

Russian Superman: what more do you need to know? This newest elseworlds entry from the new DC Animated Universe is an adaptation of one of my favorite comic books of all time. This asks the question: what if Superman landed in the USSR instead of Kansas? You have good guy Lex Luthor, Green Lantern pilots, Mad Russian Batman, and Soviet Superman. Up is down. Left is right. Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria! Perfect for this uncertain time. 

But seriously, this is a pretty faithful adaptation of the comic, so check this out. 

• Primal (Adult Swim. Watch it HERE)

I don't say this lightly: this is a MUST WATCH. 

This isn't something I would normally seek out, but holy crap. The creator of Samurai Jack hits another one out of the park with this. It takes place before the dawn of time, following a cave man as he tries to survive in a world that seemingly wants to kill him with every turn.  

This is a modern take on the silent film, in that there are... 

*checks notes* 

...zero actual words said. 

Only grunts and screams. Despite that, when the final current episode finished, I was literally in tears (new episode comes March 15). 

It's a surprising mix of action and gore with emotion and heart. Inventive action and creative horror elements, plus I'm always a sucker for some great 2D animation. Check out this extremely binge-able series for free on Adult Swim's site (linked above).  

Category 3: I Tube, YouTube

Maybe you're more into awesome video essays about terrific (or less than terrific) movies? I have two BIG suggestions for you. Both provide a ton of videos that range in length from a quick 4-5 minutes to 30-45 minute epics, perfect for the social distancing we all need. Please consider subscribing to both of these.

Coffee association: pour over with Magic Beans's Ethiopia Limu. 
There's something about pour over/Chemex with light roasts that brings all the Raymonds to the yard. Much like the very personal YouTube recommendations, this coffee is perfect for this method, and is what I normally get whether I'm at Cup of Commonwealth or Chocolate Holler or I'm at home. Try this on for size as soon as you can.  ?

YouTube suggestions:

• FilmJoy 

My personal favorite for this Texas based movie channel are the "Movies with Mikey" episodes, espeically the John Wick episodes. Holy cow, this will make you think about those films in a very different way, but a great way. Watch a few of those and you'll be humming "but did you KNOWWWWW?" in no time. His most recent Star Trek episode is a fascinating investigation into why we love the show, desire more from the films, and how we got there.  

But really, he provides a heartfelt and in-depth look into film and will having you reevaluating the way to consume both tv and film. Such a good channel. 

• Patrick (H) Willems

This is the channel that helped verbalize my distress about thinking "too critically" about Star Wars and comic book movies. It also made me realize that a Wes Anderson X-Men movie could be fun? Anyway, his highly cinematic video essays breaking down a wide variety of films is stunning. It's like if the Nostalgia Critic was actually good, this is what he'd look like?  

I'd suggest watching his Star Wars videos. He comes at it from a place of love and respect for the material, a deeper desire to see something more, but then again a realization that these are movies made about space wizards intended for children. Check him out. 

BONUS: Episodes and movies about diseases that will help us laugh.

• Osmosis Jones (Starz Add-On, Amazon Prime)
• It's a movie about a white blood cell and an immunization fighting disease inside of Bill Murray. Like, come on. 
• Hey Arnold: S5E7: Sid and Germs. (Hulu)
• Sid becomes aware of germs and constantly cleans everything. I mean, take away the obsessiveness, and maybe we should follow his example? 
• We Bare Bears: S4E31: Bubble. (Netflix) 
• This show is cleverly written and ridiculously adorable. This one plays on the fears of Panda when he sees a horror movie where germs take over the world, causing him to get a bubble and live inside it. 
• How I Met Your Mother: S7E9: Disaster Averted. (Hulu)
• As someone with bad insurance, I feel like Marshall in this episode. He finds himself uninsured for a few days, so he keeps imagining the worst thing that could happen if he leaves the apartment, each ending with him being mauled by a bear. Also, NYC is shut down due to a hurricane, so that's interesting. 
• Bob's Bugers: S6E10: Lice Things are Lice. (Hulu)
• Imagine being quarantined, but you're the Belcher kids. That's what happens here. Hilarity ensues.

Welcome to Pour Over

Two things that you don't normally think of as going together are coffee and movies, so it begs the question: what is "pour over movies"?

For the uninitiated, pour over coffee is a process of making a cup that has its roots back in the early 1900s in Europe. The process involves placing a filter in a type of funnel, and once the grounds are placed inside, pouring water through into the cup below.

Pretty simple stuff.

The reason why I (among countless other coffee fans) love this method compared to traditional drip coffee is that the method lets the grounds and water to breathe, allowing the intricate flavors and aromas that could be lost to truly shine. To let those hints of fruit or chocolate to really come to the forefront, helping the consumer to appreciate a new coffee experience.

That's what this place is for, but with movies too.

My goal is two fold:

First: to help break down and talk about movies in a way that helps us appreciate some of the things that you might not get from a brief Rotten Tomatoes score, or your friend down the way that thinks she knows movies but you and your friends know she really doesn't know what she's talking about.

A lot of talk about film is now like a sporting event: there are always winners and losers. A movie can't be "ok" or "good", it has to be the best ever or worst ever. This is a place to celebrate film in all its glory, but honestly (so yes, sometimes we'll talk about new releases that are just not good, and we'll call them what they are: bad.).

Second goal is a fun one: sometimes it's hard to frame a recommendation, so I want to frame these in the realm of coffee. Each review will end with a coffee recommendation and comparison. If this movie were coffee, what would it be?

An example (the reviews will be longer and explore more of the nuances and fun, but this is a short version).

I watched Birds of Prey recently. This movie looks like something I wouldn't like normally (the sequel to a pretty bad Suicide Squad, and that's coming from someone who loves DC and 5 of the other 7 released DCEU films), and most times I would ignore it. But I didn't, and boy am I glad that I saw it (in a pretty empty theater, so private screening? I THINK SO). On paper, it shouldn't work (again, Suicide Squad was panned, it's rated R, doesn't feature Joker or Batman, and an all female cast? The audacity!!!), but at its core it's an exciting, zany, really fun romp. Lots of compelling and colorful characters.

As a coffee, it would be one I was once given called "birthday cake." On paper, it's not good, right? Birthday cake is to be eaten, not sipped from a mug! But one day I was depserate so I had some. And it was....good?? It's not really cake flavor, it's a fun light roast, hints of vanilla, and it worked well. Should it? Not really, but I'm glad I had it.

Do I recommend both the Birds of Prey and birthday cake coffee? Not to everyone, but to most: YES. Seriously, go see this movie and be surprised.

Copyright: Warner Brothers and DC Entertainment (2020)

I'm sure this will either evolve into something more than just movie reviews (I'm hoping it will, at least), or it'll slowly fade into obscurity. Either way, we'll do this discovering the joys of movies and coffee.

Welcome to Pour Over Movies. Pour yourself a cup.

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